Athletes And Engineers Are Missing Out On Life

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Labels == Easier on the brain

It's really easy to paint ourselves into corners. In addition, society loves labels. Labels allow our brains to put people and things into buckets, and it's just easier that way. How else would you know that I'm a psychopath serial killer if you didn't know my sun sign was Gemini, my moon sign was Aquarius and my rising sign was Leo? You'd have to ask a lot of questions to get to that point, and we just don't have time for that! In addition, there’s a part of us that actually enjoys the labels we put on ourselves because it's comfortable. Change is hard, and being good at something feels good. I was good at softball, and it felt pretty good knowing the nice ladies at the Mexican restaurant also knew I was good at softball. 

Retiring from sport is difficult because, the label goes out the window! If I'm a free person, there is nothing to hang my hat on. There is nothing that I am "good at" anymore. It is unfortunate that society puts value on our profession but it's just the way it is. I'm not here to change society. 

Living in tunnels 🚇

I do have issue with the labels though. They're too narrow, like a tunnel. To be good at softball, you have to spend every waking moment doing it, and interacting with other humans who also play softball. While this is good if you really love softball and want to be good at it, but it is really damaging when you retire and are looking for something else to do with your life.

Some folks might argue that the softball tunnel is a fine place to be. They're the ones who play softball, coach softball, marry softball players, and spend their weekends watching the softball. And I get it. Some people go to the same restaurant to order the same thing every time. Perhaps they derive some joy from consistency. But I always wonder, if you've never tried the lobster. How do you know if you like it or not? 

I fell into the same trap when I became an engineer. I became too specialized. I took on the engineer label and then I found myself in the Tunnel of the Nerds. By living in this tunnel there was just no time to breath let alone look up from the computer. There is always bugs to fix, and features to ship. And because of the internet, the engineers were always on. We can always be reached to fix something that is broken. And for me, this tunnel was also filled with anxiety and loneliness. Coding can be enjoyable, but anxiety is not. I haven't given up on being an engineer completely and think there can be some joy in there somewhere, but for now I'm enjoying my life outside of it.  

Conclusion

The great thing about tunnels is that they get you from Point A to Point B. Point A = Olympian Point B = Upper middle class. But unfortunately tunnels are terrible for stumbling upon unexpected opportunities. Opportunities come from people, they don't come from achievements. I think the greatest gift from owning a business is the ability to meet a diverse group of people. And unless you're a mole or a subway conductor, living in tunnels isn't exactly a balanced lifestyle choice. Covid taught us that we actually need friends, but being a remote person left those skills a little rusty. We can shake that rust off! I think I’m starting to do that now. I wouldn't call myself a great salesperson yet, but I do like making new friends. And that's good enough for me.